Here comes the... tat

So that's it. You have waited patiently by the mailbox and even checked with the postman, but you now have to face the very disappointing truth: You - just like Michelle and Barak - are not invited.

Once the initial disappointment has passed, you will soon realise that it will be much more comfortable to watch the Royal Wedding on the TV and then celebrate your extra day off down the pub with your friends. Besides, all you need to be part of Will and Kate's do is readily available. Below are a few "must haves".

From tatty to silly to plain ridiculous, take your pick!


Ever wondered what the royals smell like? Me neither, but in case you are curious, this one is for you:

 Like many, I am very curious of what KM will be wearing. With this sticker book, you can play at dressing them up for their big day.

 

Even the French are cashing up on the royal nuptials:

 Want to keep up with the Joneses? Well, upstage them at your wedding day BBQ with this impressive fridge. The commercial director for the company selling it reckons that it is a very popular choice. So careful. The Joneses may have one too.

"Ze frigo royal"

Want a souvenir that 'combines the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-Be'? There you go. The manufacturers have assured that these are not approved by or supplied to PW or KM. As if we had any doubt it might be the case... 

Les joyaux de la couronne... "Allongez vous et pensez a l'Angleterre"

The royal couple has also been meerkat'ed. Why you may ask. Well, the couple met in St Andrews, where the local zoo have named their dominant meerkat couple William and Kate. That's why. Simples.

 If knitting is not your forte, impress your neighbours with this planter:

But if all of this is a bit too much for you and fills you with nausea and you are just sick of this wedding business, fear not. You too have your piece of memorabilia:

There are however a few pieces which made me laugh, and some I might even be tempted to buy (at a discounted rate after the wedding) for Millie's treasure box:

If the monarchy is not your thing, at least be thankful for the bank holiday!

Something to wear if you are planning to be standing on the Mall tomorrow morning. This Tesco little number should no doubt upstage whatever the bride is planning to wear...

Can also be re-used for any wedding you have been invited to this summer...

And if I really had to get a souvenir, it would have to be these... funny and not too tacky :-)

All jokes aside, I'll be watching tomorrow and put Millie in her best dress for the occasion :-)